A Woman’s Ball Game?

A lot of misconception about couples having a baby is that it is all about the mother-to-be. Well technically since it’s the woman who is getting pregnant and going through a lot of physical changes that all the focus is on her. But she must not face this all by herself. The male partner and soon-to-be-father is very much important. You guys thought that your role would just be shouting on the top of your lungs that your partner is pregnant. And then later on when reality sinks in you would feel left out because all of your friends and relatives and even strangers are more concerned to your bloated partner. She gets solicitous attention and consideration more than you do. Pregnant fathers do feel this way. They may not be going through the physical changes that their partner is experiencing but pregnant fathers are going through a lot of emotional upheavals too. It is but natural for fathers to maintain a strong façade despite feeling lonely and stressed out.

I remember my husband being so ecstatic when he first learned that I was pregnant. He was so jubilant that he hugged our Labrador, tossed her up and carried her around the room like a Christmas gift given by Santa himself. Poor doggy she got so exhausted afterwards. My husband couldn’t help himself despite our solemn pact not to tell a soul that I am pregnant. I’m kind of selfish at that time. I felt that this great joy of having a baby for the first time would just be enjoyed by me and my husband. Of course I’m aware that there’s no such thing as keeping pregnancy a secret even for a short while. I just wanted to savor that moment. With puppy eyes he swore he would not tell a soul. The next morning I got calls from his side of relatives asking me about my pregnancy. There goes our solemn pact.

My husband did his best to help me cope with my pregnancy. Addressing my needs, such as accompanying me to the bathroom in the middle of the night to answer nature’s call, help me with the heavy chores at home, going out late at night to answer my hunger pangs, etc. But aside from the physical challenges that he assisted me with, he is there to give me some emotional encouragements as well. You could say I’m having a great pregnancy and enjoying every bit of experience I get. Well I truly but I forgot one thing, my husband. My pregnancy is so centered on me that I forgot to let me husband in on the fun. I thought that if I’m happy he is happy as well. I thought wrong. One night he confide in me that he felt jealous about me getting pregnant and to the baby inside me because we get all the attention and care and none for him. He felt like an outsider. I was truly surprised to know his true feelings but was glad that he communicated these things to me. Expectant fathers can also be a part of this wonderful experience. I gave him the emotional support he needs. I make sure that every experience I am feeling he would know about it and feel it as well. I let him feel my bulging stomach and describe to him what it feels like when our baby moves. I told him how grateful I am that he is always around to support me and our baby.

It is important not to neglect the expectant father. In order for him to be part of the process he must establish a contact. Letting him feel the baby kick inside the womb, talking to the baby and helping him know what is going on inside. You can also talk with your husband about the things you have read about pregnancy, the developments you are experiencing inside and out. That way he could have a vivid mental picture of everything especially your baby and make a connection. As a result you are truly sharing the wonderful experience you have with your husband. Pregnancy after all is not just a woman’s ball game.